For about three weeks I have been working on becoming a runner. It started for stress reasons. Running is an excellent stress relief and it helps me sleep better at night. I don't have big ambitions that it will magically help me lose 50lbs especially since I find chocolate to be an excellent source of stress relief as well. I don't plan to run a marathon or even a half. But a 5K here and there couldn't hurt. I'd like to make it a habit. And while I still hate to run, I find the days I don't fit it in I wish I did.
I run at night just after putting the boys down. I find the cover of darkness helps my confidence since I look a lit like Phoebe on Friends who runs like an oversized Muppet. I like to smell my neighborhood. The laundry. The last meals on the grill. Fresh cut grass.
I started out slow, running between every other mailbox. The next week I made a goal. The cross. At the front of my neighborhood a family built a large wood and stone cross tucked into the back of their property. It is just a little shorter than me and surrounded by evergreen shrubs and highlighted by a small spotlight. The cross is 1.2 miles from my house on my current route. I began to make this cross my goal. I began thinking about it and hoping for it and picturing it as I ran slowly through the neighborhood. In my head my thoughts jump around about the days events, how I need running shoes that are less than two years old, what things are on my to do list, what to get Miller for Christmas, how I'd like to take a photography class and work on being more serious about that. But I always go back to the picture of that cross and often find myself wondering what would happen if the family found me simply weeping at the foot of it. I'd like to. To stop there and pour it all out at the foot of the cross. All the worries, all the stress. All the hopes and selfish desires. Instead I just keep praying and putting one foot in front of the other. Last week I met and passed my goal. As I jog past that beautiful cross, I thank Him.
It is funny how God knows what is best for you. And how He slows you down when you won't do it for yourself.
This week I wanted to run the whole route start to finish with no walking. And then begin to add in new diversions from the route to add a little distance. But it was busy and I didn't get the chance to go until Thursday. But I figured I could still get in four days for the week by running over the weekend. I asked Adam if he would mind too much if I went before we did bath and bed for the boys while they all played. I went to get an iPod that had a stopwatch and my iTunes on it. But it was dead so I settled for my phone and Pandora and my Cardio Trainer App. A God thing. Surely.
After passing my cross and turning the corner for the main drag of my neighborhood I saw an approaching car and decide to hop up on the sidewalk since the car was speeding and maybe didn't see me. Well, I missed the curb heard a pop in my ankle followed by shooting pain and then fell completely over into the street. At this point I am worried about being run over by the car and drag myself into the grass. I had to call Adam to come get me, super thankful to have my phone. I sprained my ankle and scrapped up my knee and leg on the other side. The day before a huge meeting at school I have been working a month for.
My dad and our school's athletic trainer fixed me up and currently I am enjoying being off my feet. Completely slowed down. To a stop. At first I thought well forget the running. But then isn't that what my Enemy would want. To thwart me in running to the cross? What other ways is he thwarting my progress to the Cross?