Friday, December 3, 2010

The Rainy No Good Day

Normally I love rainy days. I love feeling all cozy and sleeping in while rain falls outside my window (not that I get to do that often anymore) it just feels all romantic. But Tuesday's rainy day was not a good one. See, the night before I had made the mistake of of thinking about and looking at my pay schedule it stays the same for the next ten years. I also got word that daycare is going up twenty dollars per kid per week. In January. When we send two kids for the first time. I got a little down in the dumps. I went into the most dangerous places in my heart. The places where self pity and selfishness reign. I began to think about all the things that I want to do for myself, the house, my boys that cost money. And how I probably wouldn't be able to do them. I hate the self wallowing state of being. Who am I that I deserve a pedi/mani? Three fourths of this world probably don't even know what they are. So I prayed. I read some passages in my Bible. I got on EBay and won an Anthropologie tunic for eight bucks. I cut Noah's hair. I thought about ways to save money and do cute things around the house on the cheap. I delighted in my children. For free.

Because the boys college education and retiring are more important than frames and a closet full of clothes and shoes.Slowly and surely I pulled myself out of the muck and mire and cheerfully began to decorate for Christmas. Only a few causalities. Noah's hair and about 1/4 of the can of cream cheese frosting in the fridge. I am thankful. So thankful for the many blessings God has given me. I hate when I lose that perspective.

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