Motherhood

For ten weeks I have enjoyed the kind of motherhood I dreamed about as a little girl. Well almost. I love snuggling with Noah and showing him off. I love to see the joy he brings to his grandparents. I love seeing Adam nurture this little product of our love for each other. And I melted the first time he smiled at me. I do not enjoy wrestling with my own selfishness. I never realized how selfish I am. Early in the first few weeks I struggled with the lack of sleep and independence. Both of those things have gotten better. Noah, with God's help and Babywise, now sleeps seven hours at night. With the help of family, Adam and I have enjoyed several date nights. I now struggle with my idea of motherhood. I always thought I would be a stay at home mom but because Noah was an early surprise, I am now back at work. Noah starts daycare on Wednesday. I struggle with the idea that this makes me a bad mom or that in the future Noah will resent being raised at Christ Harbor Methodist. But I am working through these doubts and worries.
Motherhood has changed me. I am dependent on God for energy and patience. I desire to spend time with Him in a way I never had before. I also look at people in a different way. Everyone is someone else's Noah. It has made me a better teacher. I love Adam now more than ever. He is an amazing father and never gets tired of serving us both. Or at least he doesn't show it! I look forward to seeing what else God teaches me through Noah.
Noah is amazing. He has a sweet temperament, adorable faces, and a heart melting little smile. I look forward to seeing him grow and develop more and more personality.