Thursday, November 16, 2017

The TEN Year Old

My Noah turned ten today! 

I can barely believe this to be true. It seems like only yesterday he was taking his first steps and reaching for me with his tiny hands. 

Noah had grown very independent these days. He still loves soccer and football. He still pretends and reads and asks lots of his wonderful questions. He has added Minecraft and hair gel to his repertoire. 

He has been gifted with many unique qualities, a special curiosity, intelligence and a smile that totally disarms me. 

Noah is the answer to the prayers of my heart since I was probably his age and knew I wanted to be a mother to a son. And now the pair of us are moving into a new stage. Our  struggles these days  can’t be easily fixed by cuddling in the rocking chair with a story. He needs me less in that sense as he is trying to figure things out on his own. And I try desperately to both take a step back and hang  on to him so tightly. 

His desire to do things his own way and the slight stubborn edge he carries will be good things. They will. And in a way I prayed for them. It is how he is equipped to go into the world, the way his personality was designed. He is only testing them out. 

God has big amazing plans for our special kid that He knit together in such a unique way. I do look forward to seeing them unfold. I am thankful for all the many memories we have built in this decade. And I know we have so many more to make. But tonight as I was tucking in my new ten year old I was heavy hearted and a bit sad. I felt like I was saying goodbye to a part of our lives. 

But God quickly showed me two things. One was the request ,”Momma you’ll tuck me in right?” And two was the stuffed animals being arranged just so and that big disarming smile aimed at my heart. He will still need and want Adam and I along his path. And he does still love and desire our affection. It just looks different. 

So happiest of birthdays my Noah Boy! Your Dad and I are so proud of you! We love you and we pray that you know that our love is unconditional and yet pales to the love your Heavenly Father has for you! Forgive us as we grow along with you, we are not perfect and we want what is best for you. The three of us just might disagree about what that looks like in the coming years. We take great delight in who you are. And who you will be. 

Dear Father, 
Thank you for the privilege of being Noah’s parents. We thank you for the trust in us to guide and protect and love this special kid. We thank you for his unique personality and the way you knit him together. How amazing to have front row seats to watch it all unfold. We pray that we would seek Your guidance and wisdom as we parent him in this next stage. That I would allow him more independence where I can and give him more grace when he needs it. I pray that he would know the fierce love You have for him and that he would walk with You always. I pray that you will help me to not hold on too tight but yet tight enough. Thank you for Noah. 

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