I know it has been awhile. I don't really have an explanation except the usual busy life, lack of things to say. I know it is shocking for that statement come out of my mouth. Those of you who know me know I am rarely short on things to say. Here is what I think what happened. I must have swallowed my voice. I certainly have swallowed something. I know that this year has been stressful at school. There is the whole not sleeping thing going on and the vitamin deficiencies the mono. Blah blah. But does that excuse gaining almost thirty lbs. in the last year??? It has just really crept up on me. Or rather shocked me what it added up to. Last week I went to the doctor and almost fell off the scale. I weighed in just a few pounds shy of what I weighed giving birth to Miller. Early the next morning I sought solace from my very best friend who has seen me at so many weights and who I know I could be brutally honest with. She gave me just what I needed. Encouragement.But the really shocking thing came as I was editing pictures from Spring Break and Easter.I don't see this woman when I look in the mirror. I don't see a skinny mini either but not this. My first instinct of course was to delete this picture off the face of the universe. But I am just going to own it.
This is me right now.
I hope it is the before picture. I hope that next spring it looks a whole better. But I am human and I love bread and chocolate. I can't promise there will never be another Reese Egg or Chick Fil A ice cream cone. I joined up with MyFitness app. I joined the gym. I researched the Mediterranean and Clean Eating or lifestyles rather. I bought a few vitamin supplements. Made a vegetable orientated weekly menu plan with no red meat or refined flour.Things are slowly moving in the right direction. There are dreams. Ones of walking into my favorite store and buying any dress I want and having it look good. Of running around with the kids and not losing energy. Of sleeping through the night. Of feeling good again. I have goals. Little ones and big ones. Maybe another baby, as right now a healthy pregnancy wouldn't be possible. The realistic goal is twenty five pounds. Just to be at the high end of healthy. But ideally I would love to lose 60. Such a scary number. It is isn't just a ten extra nagging pounds is it? It is scary to publish that. But one thing I have tried to to is to be real on the blog. And this is my real struggle. When it is all said and done it is His body. I haven't been taking care of it very well. That will be my motivation, honoring God.
As well as my prize for my first ten lbs..... a new gym bag.