The Faces

Time is passing too quickly. Yesterday Miller turned one and I started back to school. No, that was well over a month ago already. I feel like it is slipping through my fingers. In a month and a half I will have a four year old. A four year old. This week I had the opportunity to share in the event of the birth of one of my dearest friend's first baby. A sweet baby girl. The whole experience was so completely edifying and I am again taken aback by her amazing friends and loving family. I honestly feel like her mom loves me as one of her own. The story isn't really mine to share so after my friend does some sharing of her own I will post about how that night changed my heart. But I can tell you this, it has made me quite nostalgic about my own two babies. Who aren't really babies. And even though they were fast asleep when I got home I held them both tight and kissed them. And I pictured them eight, ten and sixteen. And it broke my heart.

What will I do when these faces are so big and their bodies are so big that they no longer fit in my lap. Or I cannot rock them a song as Noah puts it? It is my prayer that I will not take one day or one hour with them for granted. They are growing so big. I pray that I will be strong when their rebellion and rejection in the teen years breaks my heart. And I pray I can be strong enough to hand them over to their wives as Adam's mom did for me. They are mine for only a little while. And ultimately it is not about me as their mom but about God using me to love them and teach them. Because really they are His. On loan.