The Rocking Chair

The baby is getting heavy inside and my feet are getting big and swollen. I am tired. The tired on the inside and out kind of tired. I am nervous and scared. I sit surrounded by blue and green stripes, sweet stuffed animals, diapers and new tiny clothes. Oversized tears spill up and over. Are you sure, Father? You are certain I can do this? You think I am ready?

Noah was born two days later, four weeks early.

We were finally home. Finally together. Both healthy. We were both in the nursery, sitting and staring into each other's faces. Thank you Father. For keeping us safe. For blessing Adam and I. For letting everything turn out alright. For this sweet precious miracle.

I am frustrated. Things at school are not going well and today was not a good day. How much longer can I watch children tear each other down again and again? I am hitting a wall and not sure I am getting through to anyone. Noah snuggles closer and lays his head on my shoulder and sighs. As I sing to him the day melts away. Restore me. Heal me. Recharge me. For You, for him, for them.

Whoa. That lightening was in our yard. Okay maybe a couple of blocks over. Could that rain come down any harder? Adam is at the office and I am wishing he wasn't. Truth be told I'm a little scared. Noah is asleep and oblivious in my arms. Thank you that you are my Rock. That my safety is in You. That you are mighter than this or any other storm in my Life.

His screams had woken me from sound sleep. A nightmare or night terrors. He cried so hard that he is still shaking minutes later. As I whisper in his ear and rub his back his shudders slow and weaken. I sing to him as we move bback and forth. Comfort and soothe him Father. Hold him in your arms. Sing over him. Delight in him.

Laughter fills the nursery. "Moo! Baa! La La La!!" It is my facorite time of day. The sun is setting. Noah is clean and clad in fire truck pajamas. Adam is doing the dishes. Charlie is snoozing in his chair. The day is winding down. It is storytime. Thank you for this moment. The lightness of it. The feeling of happiness. The joy in his face. The love in my heart.

Noah is finally still. After constant running all day. After all the , "Noah no. If you do that again you are going in time out." After the spills and messes. After the begging to sit in my lap for just one minute of rest. He is still as I rub patterns on his face with my fingers. He is grasping bus in one hand and Spots in the other. But he is still. And he is letting me hold him. Father help me to be still with you. Help relax just long enough to let you hold me. Thank you for today. Thank you for Adam abd his love for me and our son. Thank you for Noah and joy and the challenges he brings to us. Thank you that being a mother as brought me closer to You. Thank you for this time to pray as I sit...

in this rocking chair.

Mine is green. My mother bought for me. It is my favorite spot in the house. I've given close to a thousand bottles, read hundreds of stories, spent hours of rocking and uttered many prayers in this chair. It is my favorite spot in the house. It is my prayer spot. Every nursery needs one.