The Tears

I have cried a lot this week. Out of joy, at the Olympics, and out of stress.
I spent some time watching the Olympics on TiVo mainly because Michael and Shawn and Nastia were on too late for the first weeks of school. I watched Michael win his 8 medals. I cheered for him teared up at his accomplishments. But I really let the tears flow when the camera would span the audience and settle on his mom. I know Michael worked hard to get those six world records. But so did his mom. Imagine all the car pooling to practices and meets while juggling a very successful teaching career and doing it all as a single mom. And there he was tossing her his roses after achieving his dream. (I'm crying again.) I can only imagine if that were Noah and all the emotions I'd be processing. Joy, Elation, Pride, Relief, Exhaustion. So congratulations to Michael and his mom! Don't even mention the commercial Morgan Freeman narrates about the injured runner and his dad! I have to change the channel.

Last night I was rocking Noah after finishing his night night bottle. We were staring at each other and I was telling him how I love him and how God loves him more and the things God has already done for him. Noah started touching my face and just laughing and laughing and laughing. I was overcome by love and joy over being a mother. Tears pouring down my face, I thanked God for my little miracle. Adam came to check on us, and was confused by the range of emotion he found us in.

Today I cried out of stress. The beginning of school is always stressful. And today was no exception. Those of you who know me well know that confrontation is not my forte. So teaching a diverse group of freshmen is a challenge. I find it stressful to balancing loving them, teaching them, filling out paperwork on them, evaluating them, and disciplining them. It was just a hard day. I was out of the building before four, I had just had my fill. I came home to find Charlie had chewed up a foam toy of Noah's and left little pieces everywhere! Add in hair and doctor's appointments and missing jewelry order and nothing planned for dinner and out came the tears. Then I remembered at 9:30 I promised Laura I would call her at six for a much needed catch up phone call. I'm a terrible friend! I hope she accepts this public apology. I know she understands stress.
Tears are not always bad. They can be very cleansing. They can express all kinds of emotion and I am thankful God gave me a way to express what an emotional person he made me to be!