The Diapers

Today Noah used his last Swaddler Diaper. He is officially a Cruiser. For some reason this is hitting me hard today. I actually shed tears in the grocery store. I've been excited about each of Noah's milestones; smiling, rolling over, baby food, teeth, sitting up. But in the back of my mind I've been a little sad. I was sitting at Bryant graduation a couple of weeks ago and began to tear up for two reasons. For t he kids I never though would make but did and for the bigger reason. I realized that if six months went so fast so would eighteen years. And then I would be a parent at the graduation watching my little baby walk across stage. I've been packing up Noah's clothes that are too small and gotten very nostalgic about some of the outfits. It's hard to imagine that my 20 lbs. six month old was ever too tiny to fit in newborn clothes at 6.4 lbs when he left the NICU. It's a weird feeling. I look forward to playing with Noah in the backyard, planning birthday parties, cheering him on at T-ball games, helping him with his homework, covering my fridge with his artwork, helping him pick out a tux for prom, meeting his wife I've prayed for since he was a fetus. But at the same time it makes me sad to know that one day he won't fit his sweet little head on my shoulder or need me to rock him to sleep. It makes me sad to know soon he will crawl away from me and say "No!" instead of snuggle and give sloppy kisses. I guess its a bittersweet process watching nurturing and loving this little being as he becomes independent. Cruisers are part of the process.