How I love my boys. All four of them. I am thankful for this life of laughs and mess!
For the past year or so I have been praying that God would make my heart sensitive. That He would break it over things that break His. This is a dangerous prayer. Over the past week my eyes have been open to several situations at school that are heartbreaking. I don't really have any control over the circumstances and there isn't too much I can do to help. It has left me somewhat frustrated. After we put the boys to bed we were working on some things and had the Capitol Journal ( a really really boring report on Alabama Public Television about the legislative session in Montgomery)playing as we worked. The show was going on and on about the Education Reform ideas and teacher performance and taking money from the Education budget. And I got really worked up. Really worked up. I mean...... have they stepped foot in a classroom these days?! I had been making a pretty pink elephant banner for a baby shower. I walked out side to deliver it to my neighbor down the street. The cold air cleared my head. And I looked upward. All I could see were stars. Massive amounts of stars. I thought about how He made them and scattered them. They are bright and beautiful. He has his hands on everything. And has since before time. He has a plan for my students that I can't help. He has a plan for the things out of my control. Things that don't make sense. And on the things that do. I will rest in that. And then I walked into my neighbors truck.
Ann Voskamp wrote for {in}courage today. I cried. Because it was so beautiful. If you have the time read it all here. If not chew on this.....
I remember when you were small enough to hold in my arms, warm against me, this sun bathed stone, us engraved into rock here. I hadn’t known how fast the wings would come and that you would fly into the dark, into the sun, and so soon. That when you became a man, I’d feel so empty – and so very fulfilled. I wish we had read even more books. And I had said yes to every game of Scrabble.
We are celebrating our seventh anniversary this weekend. They say the seventh year is the worst. I however have high hopes for this year. When Adam and married each other as young twenty three year olds, we had no idea where live would take us. Or where it wouldn't take us. But here we are more in love today than that day. I may not be any closer to understanding his humor or his reasoning behind some choices that catch me off guard but I have no doubt that he is putting me and the boys before any of his own desires or cares. Just look at the shape his shoes are in or count the number of times he has run back to the store to pick up something without complaint. Or log the number of hours watching the Bachelor. Or listening to my plans for the house or our children with endless patience. I am thankful that he still makes me feel beautiful when he smiles at me. I am thankful we have the same idea about what to do with our time together away from the kids. Sleep. I am thankful he knows what to do when I go into stress overdrive. I am grateful he understands the power of baths, chocolate and a glass of wine. I am thankful I have learned how to talk him down from worries and anxieties. (Somewhat) I am thankful for his strength when he held my hand as I brought our sons into the world. I am thankful that when I feel like things are falling in pieces around me he helps me pick them up. I am thankful he thinks I am cute when I cry. I am thankful for the kind of father he is. I am thankful that when I lose my joy and the world gets dark he helps me find the light. I am also grateful to understand more that no matter how amazing he is (and he is very) that he is not my world. He is not my everything. Jesus is. Jesus is perfect where Adam is not. Adam has seemingly endless patience but Jesus really does. Adam is my very best friend. But Jesus fills my soul like no other could. I am grateful that Adam loves that about me.
And I am oh so happy I said yes! Happy Anniversary Love! Here is to the best year yet!!!
And I want to get out and do something girly. But I wouldn't trade it or them for anything!
Well....maybe some quiet?
I hope they feel how much I love them. Even the wrestling. Even the noise. Even the mess. Where I once dreamed of ballet recitals and tea parties I dream instead of football games and camp outs. And muddy little shoes. As long as the let me kiss them whenever I want....I'll save the tea parties for my nieces!
And Charlie watched over it all.
Over the past several months we have been worrying just a tad about Miller Biller. He is just a few days shy of being seventeen months. And he wasn't walking or talking. Our doctor recommended at his fifteenth month appointment to Early Intervention. After some interviews and observations Miller qualified for services in motor development and speech. And then three days later he started doing this:
Oh Miller you are a Biller! (Biller: bil-er n. meaning baffling little trickster). He will still get some speech therapy. We are all about doing anything we can to help Miller be successful. But I think he might just be stubborn and one day all the words will come tumbling out!
2011 was both a beautiful and hard year. We buckled down financially after spending a sweet six months at home with Miller. Things were tight but I feel I really learned to make the most of the things God blessed me with. Then the storm. We are so blessed to be a part of our church family and this community. God used this tragedy to touch me in a new way. My faith and love for Him were strengthened. This summer we had lots of fun learning and visiting with family and an incredible beach vacation.I opened my little tiny Etsy shop Paper Happies. I also killed myself at boot camp three mornings a week at 5:30 am. I kicked carbonated drinks to the curb and lost 15lbs. (Although I think they are all back over Christmas Break!)This fall I started school with a new attitude. I have enjoyed the school year this year so far. I really feel like I am fulfilling my purpose there. The fall has been busy with Bible Study and mentoring. Plus fall is fun with lots of memory making fun. In November Adam got a phone call offering him a new position at UA. The phone call (after two rounds of interviews) may be the highlight of my year. The look on Adam's face is gratitude incarnate. In December he became the public relations director for the College of Engineering, a position that will certainly change 2012 for the better! Noah was at a magical age this Christmas and I took so much delight in him the whole season. I will always remember it. Here are some picture highlights:
February- I turned thirty. Yea ;)
April- Shortly after a sweet Easter a devastating tornado destroyed lives and large parts of our city. Such a difficult time for many of my students.
May- God used the storm to tell His story of redemption through His people and their love and generosity. God worked in my heart and I fell deeper in love with Him. Adam and Noah prepared for summer lawn care :)
June- Another summer of learning and neighborhood fun.....
July- A trip to WaterSound made unforgettable beach memories!
August- Little Man turned one!
October- A month full of fall fun!
November- A month of Thanksgiving was capped off with Adam getting a new job at the University of Alabama. And big man turned four! Can you believe it?
December- A month of whirlwind holiday activities but a sweet time of joy in our Savior.
