The Plea for Prayer

This is going to be incredibly selfish. Especially when there are more important things to be praying about these days... like earthquakes, hospitalizations, and miracles. But I'm going to make my plea anyway. I'm asking for a very small scale miracle... for God to take my nausea away.

God and I have had many conversations in the past about my mission in life. It is a simple one but one he has assured me is important. It is to love God, be a good wife, a good mother and to create and maintain a home where His name is praised and magnified and one that brings peace to those who spend time there. This sweet life growing in my womb is really throwing me for a loop. I was sick the entire time I was pregnant with Noah. But then I had only Adam and Charlie to worry about.And they were pretty self sufficient. Now I have a mission. And as of now I am doing pretty poorly at it.

I wake up sick. I have pretty good days at school. I'll feel great all day until about 2:30 then it starts. By six o'clock I can't do much of anything except curl up on the couch and pray not to throw up. I want to feel good at home so that I can be a wife to Adam, a mother to Noah and a homemaker in our house.

So here is my request. I am asking for prayer for healing. In a few weeks when I enter the second trimester I want to leave this sickness behind. I know God can do this because I have seen Him work in both small and big ways. So while this plea is selfish and deals mainly with my own comfort it is sincere. I know this small miracle would make a difference in my home, for Noah and for Adam. I really want to spend these last months as a family of three making memories not sick.

The Past Week or So

I'm still alive. I have been hanging on. I am taking Zofran and have resorted to pressure point bracelets. I feel somewhat better.

I am posting during school. Yes I am. I have an intern and she is incredible. She is teaching all three class and doing a great job. As we speak she is playing vocabulary charades with fourth block. Its going to be a great semester.

The weather lately has been much better.... meaning it is above freezing. Noah and I have ventured outside to play some with the neighbors. The neighborhood girls went out to celebrate the newest baby girl on the block by showering the mom with diapers while eating the best cheesecake ever! I have been hoarding my leftovers, eating a little bite at a time.

We celebrated Baby E at a beautiful shower. We spent time with our families. We played Beatles Rockband. And enjoyed it thoroughly.

Noah continues to test us both. Adam told him to stop throwing food off the table and Noah's response was: No no Daddy, you stop it. He is definitely two. He is mouthy and adorable all at the same time. I am about to start the star chart and rewards. He is a smart little bugger. I think he gets it. Like last week he kept getting timeout and I said if you don't get timeout tomorrow we will get ice cream. Sure enough there was no hitting, biting or scratching. So to TBCY we went, only to find it was closed. He was flexible enough to accept ice cream for the grocery store. So more bribes are on the way. This may include some potty activity. Last week he said, I have to potty, striped off his clothes and peed on the floor. Okay. That's a start, I guess.

Adam continues to amaze me in his selfless sacrifice for our family. Last night he camped out after work in 40 degrees to get Noah and Baby a spot at a new daycare in the fall. He was the second in line and both are in! What a great daddy!

This morning was my second OB visit. I got demoted two weeks. But Dr. Ingram agrees that it is probably in the middle. So I think I eleven weeks. the new date says I am nine weeks. and Dr. Ingram says I am probably ten and a half. Since we heard the most precious sound in the planet this morning. Baby's heartbeat. She said that would be almost impossible if I really was nine weeks. So I'm going to say I'm ten weeks. Thirty more to go.

The Five Years

Five years ago at this time I was freaking out. I was five hours away from getting married. If I could go back and tell this nervous girl something it would be this.....

you can not even begin to imagine how Adam will love you. You can not even imagine his calm and strength when you need him. your life will be full of joy and you will have pain but through it all he will be steady and true. you can not imagine the way he will bring you peace and comfort. or the way he will love you in your worst moments.

I have been reflecting on our marriage this week. And I keep getting the word, humble.

Probably because Adam is humble. Maybe one of the most humble people I know. He is amazing and talented at many things (none as much as he is talented at being a husband and father) but rarely takes credit.

And then Adam humbles me with the way he loves me. That girls five years ago wasn't really thinking about all the low points her future would hold. Or how Adam would love her through them. Marriage makes you vulnerable. This person sees everything you are and everything you do from the gross (Rome Incident, for those of you who know the story!), painful, sickness, mistakes, words you wish you could take back, bad habits, selfish behavior, etc. Not only has Adam been patient with me in all of these situations he loves me because of them. Many times he has looked at me at my lowest points and said, "you are adorable" or "you are amazing" or "you are beautiful". Wow.

And this is how he does the job he promised he would in our vows, to bring me back to Christ. Through his selfless love and service an humility he points me back to the Savior who loves me despite all my flaws and again and again proves his love for me when I don't deserve it.

Thank you Adam for loving me with the love of Christ, for the memories and support of the past five years.

The Sickness

I guess I forgot how sick I got when I was pregnant with Noah. Or I am sicker this time. This weekend I have managed to keep down a slice of frozen pizza, a glass of chocolate milk, a bowl of maccaroni and cheese, and some cheese dip. That's it.

I feel horrible about not being able to be as hands on with the housework and Noah. Even after just five days of Adam doing more of the routine Noah already prefers him. "Daddy read stories" and "Daddy rock rock me." Ouch.... These days of just the three of us are slipping away and I am unable to do much else besides go to work and lay on the couch. I hate it. Tomorrow I will be calling in for a perscription and hopefully that will help. It helped last time right???

For the grandparents..... Playing blocks and beinf a dinosaur!

Watching the pizza cook. Noah loves his pizza!!!!

The Day I Just Had to Laugh at At

4:34 Am: Power shuts off and I wake up with a start because it got too quiet all the sudden.

4:38 AM: Adam finds the flash light and checks on things while I don a couple of more layers.

6:30 AM: I bathe by flashlight opting for not washing my hair and going to school with dripping hair in 20 degree weather.

7:18 AM: Adam opens the garage door by hand and I head to school passing all the other houses without power.

7:50 AM : I answer my cell phone its Adam. He says the power is back on. I tell him I needed to go there appears to be a lot of ice in the teacher parking lot at school which is weird since it hasn't rained in several days.

7:51 AM: Upon further investigation I discover water is pouring out the front doors of the school.

7:53 AM: I try to keep myself and Baby from landing face first in the skating rink that is the front entrances to the building.

7:54 AM : I am helped into the building and told that a pipe burst and set of the sprinklers in one of the English classrooms. They ran all night and consequently one third of the school was under two inched of receding water including my room.

8:03: I had a teacher help me unplug my computer (that was on while the power strip was under water!) and tried to salvage things that had been on the ground.

8:10 : I drag my stuff to the library to set up camp for meetings and maybe to use the computers to print class roosters and syllabus. But they don't have heat. Because apparently when the fire alarm goes off it automatically shuts down heat in the big/main areas. Brrrr. It is cold with wet feet.

8:20: Mrs. Cassity (Principal) announces the faculty meeting is postponed. I venture out of the library to find my friends Kerri and Laren to see how their rooms fared. Not well.

8:32: The three of us decide to help in the office. We help Mrs. Cassity, the bookkeeper and our beloved secretary clear their floors and salvage files and paperwork.

9:00: We are making our way back to the library for the meetings. Mrs. Cassity pulls us aside. She says she has something she wanted to tell us before she tells everyone else because we are leaders and more than just her employees. She is accepting a promotion in the County System. She will be overseeing curriculum development.

9:02: My mind tries to process what I have just been told while standing in two inches of water in Kerri's room with my jeans rolled up four inches. All I feel is joy for her. She is free. So much stress relieved for her and her family. Sometimes last Spring I'd look at her and see just as much pain and sorrow as I felt over the struggle at BHS. I know the fight against state mandates, changing policies, increasing discipline issues took a toll on her. This year had been so much better but still... I was happy for her.

9:03: Selfish thoughts enter my brain. What about me. Who will finish what we started this fall? Will my new boss let me put family first? Will my new boss let me cry in their office when I want to quit? Will my new boss value my creativity and overlook my weakness while offering encouragement? Will my new boss be as understanding? Will my new boss have God as their number one priority?

9:15: The softball coach brought me socks (I wasn't wearing any and my feet were all wet) and a hand warmer.

9:20: I cried as Mrs. Cassity made her announcement to the faculty. But not as much as Kerri.

9:35: Kerri puts more socks on.

10:01: It was hard to stay out of the way of the massive clean up crew who was busy sucking up all the water. We had all been told, "School will start tomorrow!"

10:43: I set up camp in the what came to be called the Business Tech Shelter. It was warm. It had no water. And I could use a computer without fear of being electrocuted. The office staff and several teachers also came to the shelter.

11:30: Our awesome lunchroom staff made us a yummy lunch to celebrate the start of school and overcoming out flood. Baby loved the fried chicken, biscuits, cookies, mashed potatoes and green beans!

12:35: We remembered that 150 cooperating teachers were supposedly coming to Bryant at 2 for a meeting about hosting UA interns this semester. Probably not a good idea. Meeting moved to Eastwood.

2:45 pm: While in the Eastwood lunch room (Baby does not like the way middle schools smell) at the intern meeting we (Kerri, Laren, and I) get a text message that we can wear jeans tomorrow and an Alabama sweatshirt or t-shirt. Everyone laughs at me. I think I should get to wear ans Auburn shirt.

3:05 pm: We decided to check back in with the folks in the Business Tech Shelter to see the progress made on clean up and wish Mrs. Cassity a safe trip to Pasedena. I argue about my Auburn shirt. But really I plan on wearing a dress. I don't have much a classroom presence. So I need to dress professionally the first couple of days with my new kids. We discuss the latest weather developments.... looks like at best an early dismissal. We say our goodbyes and head out.

3:18 pm: We had not yet made it to the end of the hallway when we get called back. We were told we wouldn't be wearing t-shirts after all. Kerri grumbles. I shrug. And then... "because we won't be coming to school tomorrow!" And like a little kid I screamed and jumped in the air, visions of playing in the snow with Noah and BB in my head.

4:30 pm: Back at my house I settle into the couch, Noah on my lap to watch Diego. Happy that this crazy up and down day has come to a close and feeling like I really earned my snow day in the few hours spent at school.

The "Baby" Photo

Here she is(or he):

Baby looks good. Tiny but good. She had a strong heartbeat. 137. I could have listened to it forever. Baby is so tiny that she measured at 6 weeks 2 days. Instead of 8 weeks and 2 days. But that means (and sorry that this a little TMI) that conception was three days before I took a positive pregnancy test. Which I'm pretty sure is impossible, to tell that soon. The old due date was August 15th and the new one is August 28th. I am leaning toward the first one. It was definitely love at first sight and makes the extreme all day nausea worth it!

The No Resolution Resolution

Most people who know and love me know that I have a problem with self discipline. I am not necessarily a lazy person. I have lazy moments. I definitely am not internally motivated. But I love to make big plans and goals for myself. I'm not sure I've ever reached one. (Kind of like Julia and Julie) I make charts and set a system of rewards. With no luck.

This year things have started to change. It started with a sermon that resonated in my heart and whispers in my ear every so often. Like today... Noah looked at me and said, "Run Mommy, Run. Please." Which means chase me. My stomach said, "if you get up off this couch I will will rebel and vomit the crackers and ginger ale" but my heart said, " didn't you always dream of running around your house chasing your children? Well here you go. Do it. How much longer will he want you to?" So I did. The basic of what the words of my pastor and the Word of God have done in my heart is this.... Live Life. Live it. Don't watch it. Don't wish it was different. Don't make excuses. You want to be a better person. Be a better person. Make it happen.

I am not saying that all of a sudden I am perfect and juggle 20 things at a time. I am not ever going to be able to do that. Some people can. That is great. I am going to learn to be okay with doing two or three things at a time instead of doing nothing because I am too focused on being upset that I can't do twenty. Instead of waiting around to be called to a new job or a new city, I am praying to have my eyes and heart open to what God is calling me to here. In Tuscaloosa. At BHS. On Bristolwood Circle. He is asking me to do great things. They may not be important in the eyes of society but they are of great importance to Him. He is calling to love my husband well and to submit to him. He is calling me to raise my little boy to love Him and serve Him. He is calling me to be His hands, to spread His love in my school. He is calling me to encourage and love my extended family, friends and neighbors and even people I do not know. He is calling me to seek Him with all my heart, all my mind, and all my soul.

So this year I am not going to make any pledge or resolution to exercise everyday or write a letter a week or leave Adam notes in his lunchbox or plan a special outing for Noah once a week or memorize a verse a week. No resolutions this year. I am just going to try to be a better wife, a better mother, a better teacher, a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better aunt, a better neighbor, a better woman of God. And I am going to forgive myself when I fail. And I am going to try again.

The New Year's Eve

Nana and Puddin' asked us last week if they could ring in the New Year with Noah. Only crazy parents would turn down free babysitting on NYE. So we agreed and spent the night alone together. We did what we usually do when Noah is away.... sleep in and clean. We had thought about attending a NYE Gala at the Zone with some friends but when plans were being made we had just found out about Baby. I did want to risk spending money on tickets and fancy clothes and then be sick and miserable. Which it turned out was a good call... those "pockets of sickness" are gone and the full blown all day sickness is here. But at least all the food is staying put in my stomach. May it stay that way. So I thought it might be a stay at home kind of celebration. But I decided not to give in to sitting on the couch on NYE. We went and saw a movie and then ate a fancy dinner at a new restaurant in downtown Northport we've been wanting to try. We spent the whole dinner talking about politics and school issues. Not once did we mention our adorable toddler. (We did bring up Baby... she (I just can't say it, she in no way reflects my desire for a girl, I will be equally ecstatic with either sex) is apparently not fond of fish smells or gumbo). We had ordered a yummy dessert called, Fallen Angel Torte. When I asked for a description our waiter said triple layer brownie and other words I did not hear. I could only think of three layers of chocolate. But he returned to say the kitchen had just run out. Sad. My sweet husband indulged his pregnant wife on a search for a store open at which we could purchase Triple Chunk Brownie Mix. We got home and made brownies and played Wii. We watched the ball drop and toasted each other and our growing family with sparkling cider. And shortly after that we fell into bed. It was a sweet and simple NYE, spent with my absolutely favorite person, doing my favorite thing... just being.