The Day of Firsts

Today was the first....

...time Miller rolled from his tummy to his back. He is not all about tummy time apparently.

...outing somewhere besides the doctor. We went to Publix. We raided Xander's closet. (You thought only girls did that;) ) This is what he wore today on his trip to the G-store. Thanks Xander.

... time Noah was punished for being ugly to his brother.

... time I felt completely comfortable breastfeeding all day.

... time I put on non maternity jeans. They did zip and button. They weren't pretty but with a large t-shirt they were fine. It is a step in the right direction. I am ready to start walking and in a few weeks some toning.

... time I took a bath. I polled many many people all with mixed results as to what the instruction , "No tub baths until healed." really meant. But my bath was fantastic.

The Radio

Friday I was driving to Birmingham with the boys and Finebaum must have taken a sick day to rest up for the kickoff of football this week and it was flashback Friday on 93.7, 80's gospel isn't my cup of tea. So I was flipping through the radio stations hoping to find something decent to listen to when I heard Tim McGraw's "The Next Thirty Years". I was immediately taken back to St. George Island in the car with Laura, I was seventeen, this CD was new and we were wearing it out. I am turning thirty in just a couple of months and I am quite nostalgic about it. I have had a great first thirty years. I am grateful for so many friendships that I am taking with me into my next thirty years. It may have been a few years since Leslie and I pulled a prank on Lauren, or since Stacy and I posed for a big/little sis Zap, or since Taylor and I were accountability partners, or since Susan and Emily I wrote mail to each other at Kamp, or since I listened to Cabaret in Lindsey's car, or since Laura and I made a Krispy Kreme run, or since Laudan and I made brownies just to eat the mix, or since Megan and I shared a bathroom in our duplex, but I know they are still there as my friends. And I am so blessed that trucks, race cars, onsies and date nights are building new memories for my next thirty years. What will they be like and how can I impact my sons' first thirty years? I love that song! (It was followed by a Keith Urban love song. Mmm. Dreamy. )

On the way back to Tuscaloosa Saturday I was tuned back in to WDJC and heard "If I Were Jesus" by Paul Coleman. In the chorus he sings this, " "I'll forgive you and adore you while I'm hanging on your cross." That line gets me everytime. I struggle with unforgiveness. I can hang on to hurt like no other. As a sensitive person I get my feelings hurt a lot. I get disappointed and let down and twist it and overthink it until I convince myself that this look or remark means this person hates me or thinks I am stupid. As I am singing along to this line I think, "Wow, Lord. How many times have done things or said things that hurt You? (Of course God isn't as sensitive as I am.) With my indifference or ways I failed to acknowledge or see Your work in my life. And not only did You forgive me but YOU ADORE ME! Adore me. While you were paying for me sins. " Isn't that just insane when you really start thinking about it??

I am so thankful for music and how it can speak to me.

I am including some pictures because I know that is people want, or at least the grandparents!

Some Brotherly love. Kind of. Miller wanted to show you his new Bebo! (Sandra Boyton is one our favorite authors.)Some may call it gas but I call it a smile! (He's gonna grow into his nose, right:) )

The First Day of Zone Defense

Since Miller was born we have been playing man to man defense. Meaning one adult to each child. Sometimes we had a hockey like Power Play. But yesterday it was me playing zone. Which can be complicated when you have to pump after every feeding.

Despite my nerves Noah was on his best helpful behavior. He played cars and watched Little Bear and would kiss Miller and check on him every so often. He didn't get into too much. Only once when I was hooked up to the pump and Miller was crying in his bed did I hear Noah pulling things out of the fridge and I had all sorts of images in my mind. But when I made it into the kitchen he was sitting on the tile floor drinking juice from his sippy cup he had retrieved.

The day was going so well I was able to pick up the house. Some of my sweet friends from Auburn were coming to visit and bring us dinner. I lived with these girls on "the Hall" and needed to pick up a bit so they didn't walk in my house and have flashbacks to our dorm room. I even got to do some laundry, which is good. Its a wifely thing to do to make sure that your husband has clean underwear.

In the afternoon they were actually asleep at the same time. It was like a defensive touchdown. I got to take a shower! I had the shampoo in my hair (which is only my first step in the shower routine) when I heard , "Mommy I need new clothes. I put these in the wash." This is code for I pee peed in my clothes. From what I can tell he had no bottoms and his shirt was wet. I didn't even want to know the logistics of how that happened.

Needless to say I was never so excited to see Adam walk through the door!

I really enjoyed getting to visit and catch up with Lauren, Leslie and Stacy. Noah was thrilled to have company and flirted up a storm. And Miller did his best to be adorable.

And as our reward Miller slept for a four hour stretch! Overall the day wasn't too bad for our first try. Day two was not as successful. Our doctor's visit did not go as well we wished. Miller has an eye infection that will require prescription eye drops four times a day. He only gained five ounces. So the pediatrician wants him to eat every two and a half hours. It is already hard to wake him up to eat after three hours. I was a little disheartened and frustrated. Noah was not in the best mood. The highlight was when Jennifer and Brooke showed up to play with Noah and steal Miller so I could pump and take a shower. I am so thankful for my friend and neighbor! I am hoping that tomorrow gets better. I think I just need a refill on patience and God's grace. Being a mom is my dream come true even this sleepless part :)

The Two Week Old

I went to bed last night very pregnant and uncomfortable and this morning I woke up at 4am to feed a two week old!! At least that is what I feel like. Time has flown by. I have been soaking in every instant of newborn-ness. Like the little tiny feet and the sweet smell. Soft hair. I am just so in love with our littlest man.

Miller is a sweet baby thus far. He cries if: he is starving, wet through and through or if he needs someone to hold him. He loves to be swaddled. I think he's a good sleeper if we we weren't waking him up every three hours to eat. (Tomorrow is his two week appointment and hopefully he has gained enough weight to let him stretch out his sleep at night.)

Speaking of eating I am breastfeeding. I didn't get this far with Noah and so far besides having Mastitis things are going well. When things didn't work out with Noah, I was heartbroken. There were lots of tears in the days that followed the decision to give up hope of breastfeeding. And even times in the first year of his life I would get sad about it. But formula definitely had its advantages and Noah is on track development wise emotionally, physically, and mentally. So with Miller I wasn't set on it. I wanted to give it a try but if it didn't work out that would be fine. Adam, remembering the many tears shed, thought this was a cover up of my real feelings. And maybe it was. I developed Mastitis on Thursday and was in pain and very sad. But I was stubborn to push through it since things were working so well. I am on antibiotics and until they run their course I have to pump after every feeding. This adds a considerable amount of time to the process. But it has done wonders for my supply and provided us with a freezer full of breastmilk. While I am truly enjoying breastfeeding Miller I am starting to feel a little weary as if it is all I am doing these days. But it is time during the day and night it is just the two of us. He nurses seven to eight times a day. Since we had to supplement due to his jaundice he takes a bottle like a champ and Adam takes one of the night feedings so I can put more than two hours of sleep together. He has a bad nursing period every once in a while where he gets downright mad. He'll be stubborn and take a lot of convincing to get him to nurse. Mostly this occurs when he has been woken up from sound sleep.

I have a couple of names for Miller. One is Piglet. Because he he eats all the time and makes the cutest sounds all the time. And he is pink and wrinkly and long and skinny like Piglet on Winnie the Pooh. (I know I am a mean mom.) The other name is Itsy. Because he is Itsy Bitsy.

Miller has a brother who just loves him. He wants to check on him all the time. He brings him race cars and is the paci monitor. Although he can be a little forceful when putting it back in his mouth. Noah gives kisses to Miller frequently. He always wants to know where Miller is and what he is doing. He is already keeping a watch over his baby brother.

We have been completely spoiled by our mothers who have both come to take care of us. And by our friends and neighbors who have brought us yummy dinners and more baked goods than a family should consume in two weeks. We have loved every calorie.

The Cousins

Within the past year me and my two sisters were pregnant at the same time. (As was my sister in law!). I think we about killed my mother. Three pregnancy hormone filled daughters, three deliveries, three tint newborns and moms who needed their mom! In this trio of cousins, Miller was the last to arrive. And now the picture is complete.

The Baby

The baby.... really couldn't be more adorable. He is a sweet tiny little thing. And I just love him so much.

The First Day of School

Monday was the first day of school for Noah! This year he is in he Older Two's class with his teacher from last year. Until January he will go Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8:30 to 12:30. He has been less than thrilled about going in the mornings this week but Mimi is here with us and that might have something to do with it. He does fine after he cries it out for a few minutes. But he never has done that before. I am excited about all the fun things they will be doing and of course the few hours of quiet to get a few things done with just one baby in the house. This week they tackled the letter A, color orange, and the number zero. For the first day Noah helped make his lunch for school because he was most excited about his new lunchbox. I gave in and let him have a Lighting McQueen lunchbox. I of course wanted a cute monogrammed one. But its not really my lunchbox. Right? Here are some front porch pictures. We were a little hurried this year since we rushing to get more blood drawn for Miller's bili rubin to see if he needed to be hospitalized for photo therapy. But we managed to get a couple of shots with "The" lunchbox! Here are some of last year's shots. My what a difference a year makes!!

The Big Brother

Noah is a fantastic big brother. He is doing so well with his new role in the family. He loves Miller and always asks where he is. He wants to help change his diaper. He loves to say goodnight and give him kisses. Today we were at the lab at the hospital getting a blood check for Miller. The nurse gave Noah half a box of band aids and he immediately picked one out to share with Miller. I am so thankful for that the time being non of his insecurities towards Noah. I am so thankful for his evident love for his baby brother.

I am not claiming in any way that things are going perfectly. Noah has lots of emotional outbursts. Over tiny things. His relationship with me is very hot and cold. Loves me then doesn't want me near him. I am trying not to let it bother me. Trying.

Tomorrow is Noah's first day of school. I am hoping that this will be a big help to his mood swings, getting positive attention from somebody else.

I think they kind of look alike. You think?

The Homecoming

Thursday around lunchtime we were released from the hospital and got to bring Miller home! We picked up Noah and Charlie from Mimi and Papa's and shared some yummy lunch. We made it home and Noah was really excited to show Miller his room. Jennifer and Brooke came over to meet Miller before going out to celebrated Jennifer's birthday. Our friends Thomas and Dusti came over and shared dinner with us. And we started our new life as a family of four!

Miller is doing well breastfeeding and sleeping. His bili rubin is climbing and we have made several trips for blood work and weight checks. Tomorrow is the cut off. If it doesn't start dropping then he will have to be admitted to the hospital Peds Ward for light therapy. We are feeding, feeding, feeding and sitting in sunlight. And PRAYING.

We are loving having him home in our arms and getting into a routine.

The Day Miller was Born

The day Miller was born....

I woke up feeling uncomfortable. This was nothing new. I got up and went to read in the bathroom so I wouldn't wake up Adam.This was around 4:30.

I couldn't shake the cramping and contractions and thought it was a great time for bubble bath. The contractions grew steady and more and more intense. I decided I should wake up Adam. This was around 6am.

I woke up Adam, telling him I thought I was in labor. I convinced him he had time for a shower. And I got dressed and ready. Adam got out of the shower and suggested we start timing the contractions which were becoming painful. They were two minutes apart. Yes, two minutes a part. This was around 6:30 am.

We called the hospital and my parents, threw the dog and Noah in the car and left for St. Vincent's. It was just before 7am.

I prayed that we would make it. I prayed that I would could be strong enough. And I prayed for Miller. I panicked just a little bit when we hit rush hour traffic in downtown Birmingham. My parents pulled up right behind us and my mom went upstairs to Labor and Delivery while Adam and Dad exchanged Noah and Charlie. This was right at 8am.

It took just a minute to get checked in. I was grabbing the counter trying to maintain my composure as the contractions were close and hard. In triage I got dressed and they checked my status. I was 6cm dilated and fully effaced. They moved me quickly to a room (The same room Noah was born in!), rushed my lab work for the epidural, and rushed my paperwork. This was around 9am.

My prayers were answered as the anesthesiologist put in my epidural (just in time)and I became human again. I began to feel low pressure. I mentioned this to the nurse. It was around 9:30.

The nurse said she'd check and see if there was progress and we could start pushing for a while and then call the doctor in. She took a look and said we should go ahead and tell Dr. Ingram to come on in, Miller was ready. She set up all the instruments and called the doctor in. It was around 10 am.

Dr. Ingram came in and we chatted. I pushed through three contractions and they laid a screaming baby boy across my chest. He was beautiful. Perfectly healthy. 6lbs and 15 ounces. 20 and 3/4 inches. It was 10:39 am.

It was pretty much as a perfect of delivery you could ask for. Thank you Father.

We spent the rest of the day introducing the newest member to our family and friends. It felt surreal to have him really there with us. I loved just getting to finally hold him close to me. One of the highlights of the day was when Noah burst through the door and wanted to see and hold Miller. I will never forget their introduction.

With the second baby things are a little quieter. A little less fanfare. And it gave us time to soak in this sweet little baby. I love him so much more than I expected. I feel so blessed by the privilege God has blessed me with. Being a wife to Adam. And being a mother to two beautiful sons. It is amazing how He loves me and I look forward to serving Him by loving his gifts to me!

Dear Father,

Thank you so much for another miracle of life. Thank you for getting me to the hospital on time. For the love of a steady husband, support of a fantastic family, and great nurses. Thank you for an easy delivery and a beautiful healthy baby. I am so grateful for a complication free stay. For the time to soak in Your blessings through Miller and the time to fall in love with him. Guide me as his mother. Help me model your love for him. Help me to be patient, kind, generous, gentle, kind, unselfish and loving. Help me lead Him to You. He is a gift. For which I am so grateful.

Carrie