The Growing Boy

Noah is really turning into a little boy! It seems that everyday he learns something new and sheds more of his baby habits. I thought I'd share some.

Noah has some favorite words. Clock is definitely number one. He points out clocks anywhere we are including watches on people. He also loves to ask, "that?" while pointing at things ( or sometimes at nothing). And of course he still loves to show you balls. Or anything round or circular. And then call it a ball.

He has picked up many new words like bubbles, banana, off(kind of), no, juice. He also shakes and nods his head for yes and no. I think at school they clap when they do something good because when he is sweet or puts something away he claps.

He loves to color. In kind of an obsessive way. And using sidewalk chalk.

He adores being outside and loves trying to run into the street.

He loves to feed himself with his spoon. Especially yogurt.

When I was throwing up all nine months and couldn't take my vitamins or eat fish or those other things that are supposed to increase brain power in the womb I was worried it would effect him. But now that he adds daily to his vocabulary and is figuring things out I feel better.

The Honest Truth

I am going to be honest about this week. This week has been very hard. Not because any major problems. We are all alive, employed, and moderately healthy. But all these tiny details of life and little things facing me have really started to add up and have pushed me into overwhelm.

Little things......
economic worries over both our jobs

apathy in my students, disrespect, exhaustion on my part of trying so hard, paperwork, referrals, grading, planning, staying organized

role as prom chair, 200 champagne glasses that came without candles, invoices, fundraisers that don't go as planned, students that don't show up to help

Noah's aggressive streak turning on me, (he's hitting me in the face all the time!), his little digestive tract

Subconscious worry about who knows what.

All the little things turn into stress that my body internalizes and then manifests itself into major headaches, blisters on my eyelids, grinding my teeth, sleepless nights, stomach issues. By Thursday I was a wreck. And I felt so silly. Such small things that I do have under control. I have been crying out to God any chance I had asking for break. Some release. Some rest. Perhaps word on the Magnet School position. Thursday turned into a nightmare that I won't go into. But ended up with me crying in my department chair's room after fourth period. After a pep talk and some instructions on confrontation I slinked back into my classroom to calm down before picking up Noah. I didn't really calm down. My mind was going a hundred miles an hour over all the things on the to do list and my inablity to get it done. My inabilty to love those around me with God's perfect love. When I did get home I discovered Noah had a fever of 102, and the all the same symptoms of his friend next door who was home with the flu.

I am feeling better. My mom came yesterday to care for Noah because Adam is working on a project at work he could not neglect. And I am still negative days in the sick bank. I found comfort in her delight over my son and the joy in my dad's face when he joined us for dinner. And in the arms of Adam when he finally finshed his project and joined me to sleep through thunderstorms. And I felt calm as the weather outside raged and I was safe in the dark of my bedroom in the arms who protect and love me no matter how weak I feel.

I think that the pressure of keeping it all together and making it look easy does us all a diservice. I am not meant or designed to be able to handle it all. I am designed to have flaws. To have weakness. To show this weakness to the world. So that I can need God to make me strong. So that he can shape and mold me to show the world is strength in my weakness. So I hope that be sharing my weakness in these little things that overwhelmed me can encourage and bring hope to those of you who can sometimes also feel overtaken. (There are others who feel like this right??)

The Visit

Emily called a month or so ago about coming to observe some special education classes over her Spring Break. She has a goal in mind and wants to work with Autistic children. There is a program here in town that teaches autistic children through the arts that I thought she'd love to see. She came last night and is went to school with me today and will go again tomorrow. She was a big help in the classroom today and of course with Noah. He just adores her! I have loved getting to spend some time with Emily and seeing he r in a professional sense. I hope she finds the trip worth it. Maybe these moments with her nephew will make it so.

The Good Good Friend

A lot of people ask us how Charlie and Noah get along.

The answer...




They are good friends. Or as Adam says Good good friends. May they always be!

The Girl Next Door

In love stories I always wanted to be the "girl next door". Boy grows up next to Girl. They play together as kids, experience milestones together, go off to school together. Girl is not always the most beautiful, she might be a little plain, but she is good, and is always there when Boy needs her. Eventually Boy realizes that he loves "the Girl Next Door" and can't live without her. And they live happily ever after. I never was the 'girl next door", Adam didn't live in my neighborhood :)

Next door lives B. B and Noah are in the same class at school. Noah loves to play outside with B. In fact every time we are outside he looks for B. He goes into excited hysterics when he sees her. He tries to go home with her mom from school. I'm not saying they will grow up and fall in love and live happily ever after but for now it is fun to see the friendship develop with the Girl Next Door.

They share a love for Charlie, balls and bubbles. How sweet and innocent is a friendship based on balls, dogs and bubbles!

The Interview and the BM-LS

I had my interview yesterday for the magnet school position. I think it is safe to say I will be at BHS next year. It was short and I over prepared for questions that weren't asked or hinted at. And the writing portion..... But I have a beautiful new outfit and a yummy Full Moon BBQ out of it! I know that will be a total God thing if I get it. We will find out at the end of March.

Noah has been having BM-LS ( that is what daycare call runny poo poo diapers, Adam and I call them bad diapers because it means he can't go to school for 24 hours) for three weeks. At first we thought it was a stomach bug. The doctor (who we have been to twice) said it would take a few weeks to recover. But three? Adam and I have had bugs recently. So it is possible. They have tested his diaper and found no viruses or parasites. He has been extra fussy, and had a bleeding diaper rash which we got under control with multiple oatmeal baths a day and several strong medicated creams. Adam has taken several days off to be at home with him. I think the News is losing patience with him. I am of course still negative days and trying to pay back the sick bank. We did get a doctor's note stating he is not contagious and can attend school. However, yesterday Adam got called in to pick him up (AGAIN!) and he is not allowed to go back today despite the doctor's note. Which means another day off for Adam! We are frustrated and at our wits end. We have been praying a lot trying to figure out how to fix this and what it could be. My new theory is.... This all started two days after the last night night bottle. Could it be emotional???

The Birthday Wish

Dear Mimi,
I wanted to celebrate your birthday at California Pizza Kitchen tonight but daddy got a stomach bug. I didn't see any bugs. I wonder where he's keeping it. He doesn't look so good. I thought mommy and I could just leave daddy here and go, but she said there are things called germs in us and that you and Papa are going on a big trip and didn't want to get sick. So I recorded a little clip for you. But I got confused and thought you were there. I got mad at mommy because I thought she was playing a trick. I didn't like it. I just want you to know that I love you and wish you a Happy Happy Birthday!!! And mommy does too. And daddy does too even though he is sick! And Charlie too. And Spots. And my ball.
Love,
Noah

The Compliment

So we all have pain in our lives. Some of it is physical, some emotional, some spiritual and some unfortunately all three. People wonder why a good loving God allows his people to be in pain. I am not going to go into a sermon on that but I know for myself and the lives of those around me that we can learn and be blessed through our pain. We can see the blessing we do have more clearly and we can bless those around us through the way we handle pain or trial. Do we react to disappointment and pain with joy or do we lash out with pain with cruelty and jealousy? I am blessed to know families that are going through unimaginable pain and I have been so blessed that through this journey God has them on they continually find things to be thankful for and to rejoice in. It has inspired me to watch my reactions when going through my own struggles. We can glorify God when we react to things in a way that is pleasing to Him.

Most of you know that I struggle with my job. My heart breaks for these children and all that they face . But then day after day my heart is also broken by them. Sometimes it is a struggle just to turn into the parking lot and go through another day.

Recently I applied for transfer to a new magnet middle school being established within my system. This week I was granted an interview. This position would be pretty close to my dream job. The whole curriculum is based on hands on learning and problem solving. I love that! I spend so much time combating discipline issues in my regular classes I can't touch that kind of stuff. I've been really excited the past few days. Its pretty slim that I will get it but one can hope.

On Friday I was in the copier room making copies of the prom ticket sales forms and a teacher friend stopped to chat for a second. She told me that I couldn't get this job because she doesn't want me to go. She said that this place can be pretty negative sometimes and everyone needs some positive light and that is what I am and so I can't leave. She had no idea how this sweet compliment touched me! As much as I struggle to get through the day I try even harder to do it with a smile and to find something to look forward to or laugh about. Because I feel that that is what God would want me to do. To choose joy in the middle of pain and disappointment, like my amazing friends and family are doing right now.(But on a much smaller scale of course) I felt like God was saying thank you to me through this friend at the copying machine.

If something as small as a positive attitude through a bad day at work can encourage someone imagine what a joyful and thankful heart can do amidst bigger and harder trials. I'd like to say thank you to all of those who are ministering to me and others through your their reactions during hard and painful times. I pray that God will bring you joy, peace, blessing and above all a way out of the situations you face.

The Snow

I love snow! Anytime the hint that it may snow I get pumped up! When I was little (3-7 years old) we lived in Weirton West Virginia and I remember a lot of snow. It probably didn't snow all that much but I rembmer playing in the snow, helping dad shovel it, snowball fights, walking to school in snow boots. I love it!

Finally our forcasters were right and we got some snow in Alabama! And since this may the only time Noah sees snow forthe next ten years I went a little nuts with the pictures!

Noah didn't like it the first time we went out. Later we tried again and he got a little more into it. But he wouldn't keep his mittens on. So he ended up getting cold and mad.

Charlie went nuts! He loved the snow. He tried to eat as much of it as he could.

And then an hour and a half later.... it was gone.

Here are too many pictures and some video of our short snow day!