Stomach Virus

In the two short days Noah spent at "school" last week he picked up a nasty little bug that he shared with us. For him it meant throwing up and some diarrhea . For me it meant a fever, throwing up, body aches, congestion and two unpaid days off work. For Adam it meant four sick days spent taking care of the two of us. And I'm sure it didn't mean much to Laura and John who also picked up Noah's little bug. I think it has now run its course through our household. I guess this is just the beginning of school germs! But my mom always said moms got special immunity. I guess I must have missed that. I pray that we can have some healthy weeks coming up so Noah can adjust to school and I can make it a full week at Bryant as a working mom.

The Emergency Room

Noah made his first trip to the emergency room last night. Yesterday he threw up 4 out 6 bottles. The entire content of his stomach, twice all over me. He also had some diarrhea. All over me. We were worried that he was getting dehydrated so we called the pediatrician's nurse on call. They instructed us to go to DCH Emergency Room. We waited two hours to be seen by the doctor, two more hours to have the tests run, and two more hours to be told he was fine and another hour to be discharged. Noah had to have another IV put in which he did not like, except to try and eat it. He was a trooper and smiled through it all. I was not such a trooper. And I am not happy to report that I complained the entire time. We waited FOREVER and they didn't really tell us anything to explain the throwing up! I really did not have a good attitude about the entire thing. I am not a fan of Tuscaloosa's hospital. I just don't think you should advertise everywhere that you are striving for 100% satisfaction and treat patients how we were treated. Now we are back home feeding Noah an ounce at a time and PediaLite and still unsure as to the cause of his illness. I like to think that I am good under pressure and in bad situations. But last night I found myself thinking about how I was covered in 7 oz of baby throw up, how long we had waited. Not my proudest moment. Just another example of how I wrestling with my own selfishness. I am just glad Noah will have no memory of his first (and I hope only) trip to the ER.

Why I am Glad Noah is a Boy

I have a class that has 33 kids. In that class there are only five boys. Which means there are 28 girls! 28 freshmen girls. It is also the last class of the day. After our 96 minutes together I can barely hear. I can barely think. I am glad Noah will not be as loud, shrill, or hyper as those 28 girls.
I have two girls in another class who got in a fight over their babies daddy. They lost blood, hair (real and synthetic), and a rumored tooth over a boy. I am glad Noah will never fight over his baby's daddy.
My mom and I went to see 27 Dresses last weekend. Behind us was an entire row of 13 year old girls on a slumber party. The talked, giggles, flirted, cried, laughed the entire movie loud enough for the entire movie to hear them. While it was cute in parts, I am glad Noah will never ask me to take him and 20 of his best friends to a chick flick!

Daycare

Well, we survived the first day of daycare. There were more than a few tears shed in the morning as I left him knowing that Adam would be dropping him off soon. Adam said things went well at the drop off. I was upset and during my prep period I went to our secretary's office and cried to her. She was so sweet and understanding. She made me call daycare and check up on him. He of course was fine and completely oblivious to what was going on. He has no clue I abandoned him and left his entire well being up to strangers with nose rings. When I picked him up he was peacefully asleep in a bouncy chair. I got a full report of his schedule. He wasn't too far off his original schedule. The real test came at night. Would he sleep his normal seven hours after being taken off course? He did! Seven hours, the little angel. And the other good news is that his bedding that we special ordered three and half months ago has finally made its way to Northport from India. And I will pick it up today and the nursery will finally be done. God is showing me that no amount of fuss, frustration, and worry can change my plan for you Carrie. Just go with it!

Eat, Play,Sleep

My peace of mind, physical well being, mood, attitude depend on these three things: eat, play, sleep. This is the schedule of Noah's three hour cycles and the way we have been able to get him to sleep seven hours at night. Yesterday we visited "school" to drop off his supplies. They informed us that they do not wake sleeping babies. And they will feed him whenever he is hungry. Which means whenever he cries! Eat, play, sleep is out the window. I am nervous that all our hard work is about to be forgotten. It was hard being there yesterday and seeing the little room where Noah will spend his days. The people are nice but... it just isn't how I always thought he would grow up. Not where I want him to roll over for the first time, laugh for the first time, crawl, sit up, walk, talk. I wanted to see all those things as he did them. We will see how it goes. This is God's plan for us right now and I have faith that he is working for my good. It is just hard to see what that is right now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Motherhood

For ten weeks I have enjoyed the kind of motherhood I dreamed about as a little girl. Well almost. I love snuggling with Noah and showing him off. I love to see the joy he brings to his grandparents. I love seeing Adam nurture this little product of our love for each other. And I melted the first time he smiled at me. I do not enjoy wrestling with my own selfishness. I never realized how selfish I am. Early in the first few weeks I struggled with the lack of sleep and independence. Both of those things have gotten better. Noah, with God's help and Babywise, now sleeps seven hours at night. With the help of family, Adam and I have enjoyed several date nights. I now struggle with my idea of motherhood. I always thought I would be a stay at home mom but because Noah was an early surprise, I am now back at work. Noah starts daycare on Wednesday. I struggle with the idea that this makes me a bad mom or that in the future Noah will resent being raised at Christ Harbor Methodist. But I am working through these doubts and worries.
Motherhood has changed me. I am dependent on God for energy and patience. I desire to spend time with Him in a way I never had before. I also look at people in a different way. Everyone is someone else's Noah. It has made me a better teacher. I love Adam now more than ever. He is an amazing father and never gets tired of serving us both. Or at least he doesn't show it! I look forward to seeing what else God teaches me through Noah.
Noah is amazing. He has a sweet temperament, adorable faces, and a heart melting little smile. I look forward to seeing him grow and develop more and more personality.

The Delivery

Once checked in to the hospital I was given magnesium sulfate in order to prevent any further damage to my kidneys and prevent seizures. It made me feel like I had the flu and a fever of 104. The next morning at 5:30 the gave me the medicine to begin the induction. A couple of hours later I had the miracle epidural. With the mix of these three powerful drugs I don't remember much of the eleven hours of labor. There are many stories circulating. Around four it was time to start pushing. We had an amazing nurse whose encouragement and support I will never forget. She stayed four hours after shift for me and Noah. I was able to deliver because of her and her support. Noah's head was turned wrong which complicated things even further, so after three hours of pushing suction was used to get Noah out the last little bit. Noah was unresponsive and slow to come around so after letting me see him briefly they rushed him and Adam down to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Our family waited for five hours for him to return and meet all of us. Around 12:30 Noah came back from the NICU. It was amazing to watch everyone meet the little baby they had been praying for! Later that night around three a.m. we sent Noah to the nursery to try to catch a little shut eye. While in the nursery a nurse noticed Noah turning a little blue and a drop in his temperature. This set off a series of tests that landed Noah in the NICU for a week. This was the hardest week in my life emotionally. A new mom , without a baby. I had been so sick and been through so much without my baby to show for it. I knew he was fine. You could look at his sweet little face and see he was okay. During that we week Adam had a flat tire, I had a root canal, we got a parking ticket. and things just wouldn't go our way. Now it makes for a funny story as we look back at the difficulties to see all the lessons God taught us. The Friday after Thanksgiving we were able to take Noah home and begin our new adventure into parenthood.

The Pregancy

Eleven months ago I wanted to have a glass of wine with dinner but I was little late and wanted to double check that I was not pregnant. Three positives later I began to come to terms with the biggest blessing God has given me, Noah.
Noah was a surprise. My entire life I had two ambitions. To be a good wife and to be a good mother. I met my first goal in January of 2005 when I married Adam. I loved our life together. We traveled, slept ridiculously late on the weekends, stayed up late playing games, and spoiled our only baby, our Golden Retriever Charlie. I was satisfied with the way things were I could have put off dream number two for several years. Luckily God had a different plan, as he usually does.
One week after finding out God's new plan for my life I began to throw up. And I did so usually multiple times a day up until the delivery. I actually threw up shortly before giving birth. Teaching high school history and being so sick did not mix well. The last couple of months before summer were hard. Adam was so sweet and took over most house duties like cooking and cleaning. It was hard to connect to this little being inside me who was making me so sick. Up until I saw his little heartbeat and face in the second ultrasound. I fell in love with my little man.
As Noah grew so did my desire to move out of rental in the ghetto to a house of our own. So I convinced Adam we should buy a house and a week before school started back we bought our first house. Back at school I continued to get sicker and it got increasingly harder to make it through each day. It was all I could do to make it from 7:45 to 3:20. I missed out on a lot of social extras, the wedding of one of my best friends, countless get togethers, and numerous church services. By mid October it was obvious that something was wrong. My blood pressure skyrocketed and tests showed my kidneys were beginning to be affected. I was put on bed rest. I had to see my doctor every week sometimes twice for monitoring. At one visit in November she decided that we couldn't risk my health any longer and it was time to get Noah out! We packed our stuff and headed to Birmingham.